Video
Let’s watch this short video for a quick overview.
Source: gokigen japanese official YouTube Channel
Introduction
In Japanese, expressing that you do something as a favor for someone, or that you receive a favor from someone, involves using the V-てあげる (te ageru) and V-てもらう (te morau) grammar patterns.
These structures combine a verb’s て-form with the verbs あげる (to give) and もらう (to receive) to describe the exchange of actions or help.
Let’s explore how to use these essential patterns to talk about favors and kindness in everyday conversation.
1. Grammar Structure
Pattern 1: V-て + あげる（do something for someone）
Used when the speaker or someone in the speaker’s in-group (insider circle) does something as a favor for another person.
“In-group” can include family, close friends, or coworkers from your company—people considered “on your side.”
Base pattern: [Giver] は / が [Receiver] に V-て + あげる
| Example | Meaning |
|---|---|
| サラさん[=Giver]は マナさん[=Receiver]に 教科書を見せてあげました。 | Sara [=Giver] kindly showed her textbook to Mana [=Receiver]. |
| 私は[=Giver] 友だちの宿題を 手伝ってあげました。 | I [=Giver] helped my friend [=Receiver] with her homework. |
The person who benefits from the favor (the receiver/beneficiary) is not always marked only by に.
Depending on the main verb, the natural particle can change.
E.g., 私は姪を (NOT 姪に) ディズニーランドに連れていってあげました。= I took my niece to Disneyland as a favor.
- 姪を = the person you took (object of 連れていく)
- ディズニーランドに = destination
Beneficiary marker: 〜のために
Sometimes, the person who benefits from the action (the receiver/beneficiary) is not naturally marked by に.
In those cases, you can use 〜のために (“for ~”) to clearly show who the favor is for.
Example: 私は料理が苦手なルームメイトのために、ご飯を作ってあげます。= I will make a meal for my roommate (as a favor), because they’re not good at cooking.
Pattern 2: V-て + もらう（receive help from someone）
Used when the speaker receives a favor or action from someone else.
[Receiver] は / が [Giver] に V-て + もらう
| Example | Meaning |
|---|---|
| 私[=Receiver]は 友だち[=Giver]に 料理を作ってもらいました。 | I [=Receiver] had my friend [=Giver] make food for me. |
| 私[=Receiver]は 親[=Giver]に りんごを送ってもらいました。 | I [=Receiver] got apples from my parents [=Giver]. |
This pattern shows appreciation for what someone has done for you, focusing on the act of receiving the favor.
2. Perspective Check: Who’s Doing What?
The choice between V-てあげる and V-てもらう depends on whose perspective the action is described from – specifically, the direction of the favor relative to the speaker or the speaker’s in-group.
| Perspective | Action Direction | Verb Used |
|---|---|---|
| Giving (Outward) | Speaker/In-group → Out-group | あげる |
| Receiving (Inward) | Out-group → Speaker/In-group | もらう |
3. Example Sentences
外国人の友だちがいますか。
Do you have any foreign friends?
はい、アメリカ人の友だちがいます。
Yes, I have an American friend.
私は彼に日本語を教えてあげます。その代わりに、彼に英語を教えてもらいます。
I teach him Japanese, and in return, he teaches me English.
昨日は何をしましたか。
What did you do yesterday?
大学のときの友だちと飲みにいきました。
I went out for drinks with a friend from college.
先輩にお酒をおごってもらいました。
My senior treated me to some drinks.
あの患者さん、不安そうでしたね。
That patient looked anxious, didn’t they?
はい。なので、症状を丁寧に説明してあげました。
Yes, so I explained the symptoms to them carefully.
4. Practice Time!
Let’s practice using 〜てあげる or 〜てもらう by describing the following situations. Try to form the Japanese sentence based on the English prompt, then check the answer.
I do this for someone (〜てあげる):
| Situation | Example Answer | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| Your friend is looking for a book. You looked for it with your friend. | 私は友だちの本を一緒に探してあげました。 | I helped my friend look for their book together. |
| Your younger sister wants to learn piano. You will teach her. | 妹にピアノを教えてあげます。 | I will teach my younger sister how to play the piano. |
| Your roommate didn’t have cash. You lent them money. | 私はルームメイトにお金を貸してあげました。 | I lent my roommate money (as a favor). |
Someone does this for me (〜てもらう):
| Situation | Example Answer | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| You didn’t understand the homework. Your friend explained it to you. | 友だちに宿題を説明してもらいました。 | My friend explained the homework to me. |
| You didn’t have money for lunch. Your friend paid for you. | 友だちに昼ご飯をおごってもらいました。 | My friend paid for my lunch. |
| You needed to send a package, so you had your colleague send it for you at the post office. | 同僚に郵便局で荷物を送ってもらいました。 | My colleague sent a package for me at the post office. |
5. Common Mistakes
A common mistake is using 〜てあげる when the action is actually done for you (or for someone in your in-group).
- ❌ Incorrect: 友だちが私の宿題を手伝ってあげました。
- You can’t use 〜てあげる when the favor is done for me.
- ✅ Correct: 私は友だちに宿題を手伝ってもらいました。
- I received the favor: my friend helped me with my homework.
6. FAQ – Frequently Asked Questions
- QWhat is the main difference between V-てあげる and V-てもらう?
- A
V-てあげる is used when the speaker or someone in the speaker’s in-group (insider circle) does an action as a favor for someone else. It focuses on doing the favor (giving the action outward).
V-てもらう is used when the speaker or someone in the speaker’s in-group receives a favor from someone else. It focuses on receiving the favor (the benefit comes inward).
- QHow do V-てもらう and V-てくれる compare?
- A
Both patterns mean “someone does something for me” or “someone does something for someone in my in-group,” expressing that the speaker/in-group receives a favor.
- V-てもらう focuses more on the receiver’s perspective and the act of receiving the favor. It can sometimes carry a nuance of “I got them to do it for me” or simply acknowledging the received favor.
- V-てくれる focuses more on the giver’s perspective and the act of giving the favor or performing the kindness.
In many everyday situations where you receive a favor, both can describe the same event, but the focus shifts.
- QCan V-てあげる be used for anyone, including strangers or superiors?
- A
Be cautious when using V-てあげる, especially with strangers, superiors, or people outside your close circle. It can sound condescending or presume a level of familiarity or status difference that doesn’t exist. It is safest to use V-てあげる with close friends, family, or people of clearly equal or lower social status. For superiors, you would use the humble form V-てさしあげる (te sashiageru).
If you’re not sure whether V-てあげる sounds appropriate, you can avoid it and use a more neutral sentence that simply states the action (without the “favor” nuance).
For example, instead of 手伝ってあげました, you can say 手伝いました (“I helped”), which is more objective and safer in formal or unfamiliar situations.
Conclusion
Now you can:
✅ Use 〜てあげる to describe what you do for others
✅ Use 〜てもらう when someone does something for you
✅ Choose the right perspective to express thanks, help, or kindness
🎯 Practice: What favor did you do for someone this week? What did someone do for you? Try writing it in Japanese using today’s grammar!
