Video
Let’s watch this short video for a quick overview.
Source: gokigen japanese official YouTube Channel
Introduction
Want to talk about giving or receiving something in Japanese? Whether you’re describing a birthday gift, a thank-you present, or daily exchanges, Japanese has two key verbs to express this:
- あげる – to give
- もらう – to receive
In this lesson, you’ll learn how to use these verbs naturally to describe everyday giving and receiving situations — including who gives what to whom!
1. Grammar Structure
Pattern 1: あげる（to give）
[Giver] は / が [Receiver] に [Object] を あげる
| Example | Meaning |
|---|---|
| 私は かなさんに 化粧品を あげます。 (Watashi wa Kana-san ni keshouhin o agemasu.) | I will give some cosmetics to Kana. |
Use あげる when you or someone in your in-group (your “insider” circle, such as your family, close friends, or coworkers from your company) gives something to someone.
It describes giving from the giver’s side (outward from “your side”).
Pattern 2: もらう（to receive）
[Receiver] は / が [Giver] に / から [Object] を もらう
| Example | Meaning |
|---|---|
| 私は 妹から 漫画を もらいました。 (Watashi wa imouto kara manga o moraimashita.) | I received a comic book from my younger sister. |
Use もらう when you or someone in your in-group receives something from another person.
It describes receiving from the receiver’s side (inward toward “your side”).
～に vs ～から
For the giver, you can use に or から:
- [Giver] に is common when the giver is a person (someone you interact with directly).
- 弟が祖父にお年玉をもらいました。= My younger brother received New Year’s money from my grandfather.
- [Giver] から means “from” and is used widely, and it is especially necessary when the giver is an organization or institution (e.g., a university, company, government, system).
- ✅ 私は大学から奨学金をもらいました。= I received a scholarship from my university.
- ✖ ～大学に奨学金を…。
2. Who Gives to Whom? (Perspective Matters!)
Use ageru when someone gives something to another person, and morau when someone receives something from another.
When talking about giving/receiving in Japanese, who is “in-group (uchi/insider)” and who is “out-group (soto/outsider)” matters.
あげる is a “neutral” giving verb that mainly shows the direction of giving (A → B).
It’s commonly used when the giver is you / your in-group, or when describing a giving action between outsiders (outsider ↔ outsider), where kureru doesn’t apply.
くれる is used when the giver is an outsider, and the receiver is you or your in-group (outsider → me / my side).
So if one of the “other persons” in the diagram were actually your brother (in-group) and the other were your friend (outsider), the verb can change depending on who gives:
- My brother (in-group) → my friend (outsider): あげる
- My friend (outsider) → my brother (in-group): くれる
もらう is used when the receiver receives something (object) from the giver (from whom). It is used to express the act of receiving from the speaker’s perspective.
- 私は おじから マフラーを もらいました。
= I received a scarf from my uncle.
3. Practice Time!
Let’s practice using あげる and もらう.
Describe the situation:
- I give my friend a stuffed toy.
→ 私は 友だちに ぬいぐるみを あげます。 - I received money from my aunt.
→ 私は おばから お金を もらいました。 - My mom gives chocolate to my dad.
→ 母は 父に チョコレートを あげます。
Now try your own!
- 来年のバレンタインデーに、だれに何をあげますか。
(Who will you give what to on next year’s Valentine’s Day?) - 去年の誕生日、だれから何をもらいましたか。
(What did you receive and from whom on your last birthday?)
4. Cultural Tip: Giving Gifts in Japan
In Japan, gift-giving is closely tied to social relationships—and Valentine’s Day is a good example.
Valentine’s Day (Japan):
In Japan, it’s common for women to give chocolates to men (not only to romantic partners, but sometimes also to coworkers or friends). That’s why you’ll hear categories like:
- 本命チョコ (honmei choco): for someone you truly like
- 義理チョコ (giri choco): “courtesy” chocolates for coworkers/acquaintances
- 友チョコ (tomo choco): chocolates for friends
White Day (March 14):
About a month later, men often give a return gift on White Day.
This may feel different from the U.S. (and many other countries), where Valentine’s Day is often mutual (couples exchange gifts) or is seen as men giving gifts to women, and there is usually no separate “return gift day” like White Day.
Other Japan-specific gift customs (quick examples):
Japan also has many seasonal or social gift traditions, such as お土産 (omiyage), お中元 (ochūgen), お歳暮 (oseibo), and お年賀 (onenga).
5. Common Mistakes
| Incorrect | Why it’s wrong | Correct |
|---|---|---|
| 彼は私に花束をあげました。 | When the giver is an outsider (“he”) and the receiver is me, Japanese usually uses くれる, because the action is “toward my side (me / my in-group).” | 彼は私に花束をくれました。 = He gave me a bouquet. |
| 弟は先生にギフトカードをくれました。 | くれる means someone gives to me / my in-group. But “teacher” is not “my side” in this sentence, so くれる doesn’t fit. | 弟は先生にギフトカードをあげました。= My brother gave the teacher a gift card. |
6. FAQ – Frequently Asked Questions
- QWhat is the basic difference between “ageru” and “morau”?
- A
- あげる (ageru): Used when the speaker or someone from the speaker’s in-group (e.g., family member, colleague from their company) gives something to another person, or to someone considered equal or inferior to the speaker. The nuance is that the act of giving is directed outward from the speaker’s side.
- もらう (morau): Used when the speaker or someone from the speaker’s in-group receives something from another person. The nuance is that the act of receiving is directed inward towards the speaker’s side.
- QCan “ageru” and “morau” be used for animals or objects?
- A
Yes, they can be used for non-human subjects in the same way.
- 弟は友だちからおもちゃをもらいました。= My younger brother received a toy from a friend.
- 私は犬におやつをあげました。= I gave treats to my dog.
- QCan “morau” be used when other people receive something?
- A
Yes, it can, but it is often used from the receiver’s perspective. For instance, if a family member or a colleague (someone considered part of your in-group) receives something, you can use “morau” to emphasize that the act of receiving benefits your group.
私の妹は友達からマンガをもらいました。(Watashi no imouto wa tomodachi kara manga o moraimashita.) → My younger sister received a manga from her friend (implying from my perspective that my sister, being in my in-group, received it).
- QWhat is the difference between “ageru” and “kureru”?
- A
While we’ll cover “kureru” in detail in the next article, the key difference lies in whose perspective the act of giving is expressed from:
あげる (ageru): Used when the act of giving is directed outward from the speaker or the speaker’s immediate group/in-group. Example: 妹が父にネクタイをあげました。(Imouto ga chichi ni nekutai o agemashita.) (Sister → Father; here, both are in my in-group, but the act is expressed from the sister’s side to the father’s side).
くれる (kureru): Used when the act of giving is directed inward towards the speaker or the speaker’s immediate group/in-group. Example: 友達が私に本をくれました。(Tomodachi ga watashi ni hon o kuremashita.) (Friend → Me)
- QDoes the status or relationship between the giver and receiver matter when using “ageru” or “morau”?
- A
Yes, it matters significantly. “Ageru” and “morau” are typically used for exchanges between equals or with those of lower status. When giving to or receiving from someone of higher status (e.g., teacher, boss, customer), more polite honorific or humble forms are used, such as さしあげる (sashiageru) for giving and いただく (itadaku) for receiving. This level of politeness is very important in Japanese human relationships.
- QI’ve seen 「あげる」 (ageru) also mean “to raise” or “to lift.” Is that the same word?
- A
Yes, 「あげる」 is a homonym with multiple meanings. In the context of this lesson, it means “to give.” However, the same pronunciation can also mean “to raise,” “to lift,” “to increase,” or “to finish/complete” (e.g., written work). The specific meaning is determined by the context of the sentence.
Conclusion
Now you can:
✅ Use あげる to describe giving something to someone
✅ Use もらう to describe receiving something from someone
✅ Recognize who is the giver and who is the receiver based on the verb
🎯 Challenge: Write 3 sentences — one with あげる, one with もらう, and one with both. Try talking about birthday or holiday gifts!
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