Video
Let’s watch this short video for a quick overview.
Source: gokigen japanese official YouTube Channel
Introduction
You already know how to humble your own actions with 申します, 参ります, and いたします.
But in formal Japanese, you must also speak modestly about people in your “inner circle”—your family, co-workers, or even your boss—when you are talking to outsiders such as clients or professors.
Using the right extra-modest expressions (謙譲語 Ⅰ) keeps everyone’s face intact and shows professional courtesy. Let’s learn how.
1. Who Counts as “Inner Circle”?
We just learned we need to use extra-modest expressions to talk about our own actions in formal settings. However, this doesn’t just apply to yourself, but also to people in your own “inner circle”, such as your colleagues and family members.
| Situation | Treated as Inner Circle? | Example Listener |
|---|---|---|
| Family members | Yes | Your professor, a client |
| Co-worker / Boss | Yes (when speaking to people outside your company) | Customer on the phone |
| Co-worker / Boss | No (inside office) | Talking to the boss directly |
Note that your colleagues (even your boss) are treated as your “inner circle” members, when you talk to people outside of your company.
Example: a phone call from your client asking for your boss Tanaka:
田中は今日 会社におりません。（＞いません）
Tanaka is not at the office today.
You have to talk to your boss in honorific expressions inside your company, but when talking to people outside your company, the same boss is considered your “inner circle” member, and should be referred to with extra-modest expressions.
Rule of thumb: anyone on your side of the social boundary becomes lower than the outsider, so you lower them with extra-modest language.
2. Core Extra-Modest Forms for Inner-Circle People
| Plain / Polite (inner-circle person) | Meaning | Extra-modest form you use | Sample Sentence (polite) |
|---|---|---|---|
| います | be / stay | おります | 田中はオフィスにおります。 Tanaka is in the office. |
| いません | not be | おりません | 山田は本日オフィスにおりません。 Yamada is not in the office today. |
| ～です | is / are | ～でございます | こちらは私の母でございます。 This is my mother. |
| ～じゃないです | is not | ～ではございません | 私の弟は学生ではございません。 My younger brother is not a student. |
| ～ています | be V-ing | ～ております | 吉田は出張中、福岡に滞在しております。Yoshida is currently staying in Fukuoka on a business trip. |
| 行きます | go | 参ります 伺います | 村田は午後３時に貴社へ参ります。 Murata will come to your office at 3 p.m. |
参りますand 伺います are used when your inner-circle person (or yourself) is going to or coming from the listener’s location, or is performing an action for the listener’s benefit. It’s common in business.
Note: You never attach honorific お/ご to these extra-modest verbs—one layer of humility is enough.
3. Example Sentences
- 田中は外出しております。
Mr. Tanaka is out of the office. (speaking to a client) - こちらは私の妻でございます。
This is my wife. (introducing your wife to your boss) - 息子は現在アメリカに留学しております。
My son is currently studying in the U.S. - 田中が16時ごろ、そちらへ参ります。
Tanaka will come to you around 4 p.m. (speaking to a client) - 私の兄は京都に住んでおります。
My older brother lives in Kyoto. - こちらは、私の電話番号でございます。
This is my phone number. (giving your phone number to your client)
4. Practice Drill
Convert the cues into extra-modest sentences for an outsider.
| Plain cue | Extra-modest answer |
|---|---|
| 山田は今いません。 Yamada is not here right now. | 山田は今おりません。 |
| これは私の父です。 This is my father. | こちらは私の父でございます。 |
| 妹は大阪で働いています。 My younger sister is working in Osaka. | 妹は大阪で働いております。 |
| 弟は高校生じゃないです。 My younger brother is not a high school student. | 弟は高校生ではございません。 |
Challenge: Humble these yourself: (1) 私の娘は大学生です。 (2) 佐藤はレポートを書いています。
5. Common Mistakes
| ❌ Wrong | Why it’s wrong | ✅ Fix |
|---|---|---|
| △ スミスは外出しています。 | Plain polite—sounds rude to client. | スミスは外出しております。 Smith is out at the moment. |
| △ こちらは私の妻です。 | ～です is neutral; use humble でございます. | こちらは私の妻でございます。 This is my wife. (extra-polite) |
| × 社長が明日いらっしゃいます。(to outsiders) | いらっしゃる is honorific (raises the subject). We must lower our own president when speaking to outsiders. | 社長が明日参ります。 The company president will come (or visit) tomorrow. |
| × 山田様はただいま外出しております。 | Adding 様 to your inner-circle colleague over-honors and confuses rank. | 山田はただいま外出しております。 Yamada is currently out of the office. |
Note: When referring to your own inner-circle members (including colleagues and even your boss) to an outsider, you generally remove honorific titles like 〜さん, 〜様, 〜部長. This is because by using humble language, you are already lowering your group’s status in relation to the outsider. Adding 〜様 would inappropriately raise your colleague’s status (within your humble group) relative to the external party.
6. FAQ
- QWhy do I humble my own boss or family members when talking to outsiders? Isn’t that disrespectful to them?
- A
This concept is rooted in the Japanese “inside-outside” (内-外 / uchi-soto) social dynamic. When you speak to an outsider (e.g., a client), your entire company or family is considered your “inner circle.” To show utmost respect to the outsider, you humbly present your whole group, even those superior to you within your group. It’s not disrespectful to your boss; rather, it’s a way of elevating the listener’s status and showing professional courtesy.
- QShould I remove 〜さん, 〜様, or other titles when referring to my inner-circle colleagues/boss to an outsider?
- A
Yes, typically you remove honorific suffixes like 〜さん, 〜様, and even job titles like 〜部長 (buchō) or 〜社長 (shachō) when referring to your inner-circle members (including your boss) while speaking to an outsider. You would simply use their surname.
- Example: 田中はただ今外出しております。 (Tanaka is currently out of the office.)
- QIs it ever okay to use honorific verbs (Sonkeigo) for my boss when speaking to an outsider?
- A
Generally, no. When speaking to an outsider, your boss is part of your “inner circle,” and their actions are expressed using humble language (Kenjougo) to elevate the listener. You would use Sonkeigo (e.g., いらっしゃいます) for your boss’s actions only when you are speaking to someone within your own company or inner circle.
- QHow formal is 〜でございます compared to 〜です? When should I use it?
- A
〜でございます is a very formal and humble equivalent of 〜です. While it might sound a bit old-fashioned in casual daily conversation, it is still very much alive and appropriate in specific professional contexts, especially in:
- Customer service: In retail, hospitality, or call centers.
- Formal presentations or announcements.
- Introducing inner-circle members to very important clients/superiors.
For most daily business interactions, 〜です is often sufficient, but 〜でございます offers an elevated level of humble politeness when needed.
- QIs it common to use these humble forms for all family members (e.g., younger siblings) when talking to outsiders?
- A
Yes, generally. While the degree of humility might feel less pronounced than for your boss, the “inner-circle” rule applies to all family members when speaking to an outsider. You would use humble forms for your younger brother, son, etc., to maintain the
uchi-sotodynamic.Example:
私の弟は学生ではございません。(My younger brother is not a student – said to a teacher)
Conclusion
When speaking to outsiders, remember:
- ✅ Treat family, colleagues, and even your boss as inner circle and humble them.
- ✅ Core forms: おります／おりません／～でございます／～ております／参ります.
- ✅ Never mix honorific verbs with your inner circle toward outsiders.
Practise by rewriting three sentences about your friends or colleagues using these extra-modest forms—your Japanese will sound instantly more professional and culturally correct!
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